By Tam Sutherns
Joyce Maluma claiming that she fell pregnant with sports minister Fikile Mbalula’s child after he had unprotected sex with her, Mariah Yeater claiming that Justin Bieber is the father of her three-month-old child (not the Bieber!) … while these claims may be true there are a lot women crying wolf and it does not bode well for our sisterhood.
In fact guys get quite antsy when we bring up rape cases (I am generalizing of course), pointing out that the girl may not have been telling the truth. We of course get relentlessly defensive and argue on the side of victim, outraged by their insensitivity. But for a moment, I try to imagine how terrifying it must be to be caught on the other end of rape allegations when they are false.
Unfortunately it does happen. Girls who are scared, girls who find themselves pregnant or girls who are just looking for a slice of the limelight can – shock, horror – lie. And it brings a whole new set of questions into rape cases that should not have been there in the first place.
To all of our gentlemen readers, I would like to quickly take this moment to point out that if a rape case is dropped, it does not necessarily mean that the victim was lying. The judicial system is not kind, sensitive or loving to rape victims. Cases go on for years, victims are forced to testify the most intimate details of their lives in front of their attacker and often victims would like to just get on with their lives.
That being said, the issue of women lying about rape/paternity/pregnancy is that is quite alarming and one that does need to be addressed.
It trivializes rape and causes real victims to be questioned about the truth of their stories, which is both traumatic and sad. I once heard a girl phone into a local radio station and tell a story of how, to get back at her ex-boyfriend, she told him that she had been pregnant and had aborted his child. When the DJ (let’s call him DJ Breeze) asked her if she had ever told him that she had in fact not had an abortion, she laughed and said, “No, he still thinks that he may have had a child.”
Just as we need to raise sons to nurture their masculinity, to deal with issues head on and connect with themselves and others on an emotional level as well as deal with any aggression in a way that does not inflict power or control over someone else, we also need to raise our daughters not to take advantage of their feminism. We cannot have girls trying to get ahead in life by using their vulnerability and their ability to carry a child.
To cry wolf about rape, to pretend to fall pregnant out of insecurity and fear or to falsely claim someone is the father of your child is to turn your back on everything that we are trying to do as feminists.
And just like we need to examine and explore the cause behind rape, the reason why some men are feeling like they need to exert power in this way over victims, we also need to explore and deconstruct why women are at this point that they need to take real horror stories and manipulate them into their own.
Those are my thoughts for the day.
Oh yes, and poor little Bieber.
That is all.