CULTURE, GENDER POLITICS, SEX AND SEXUALITY

Me and my ‘scruffiness’

Tshimo Leeuw
Tshimo Leeuw

By Tshimo Leeuw

So last week this girl(who used to be a very dear friend) stops me and tells me how “scruffy” I look. I was shocked. Naturally I do the girl thing about it and tell all my girlfriends including my mother and their reaction as expected is one similar to mine.

See the reason for my “scruffiness” is my hair…my hair that’s not combed nor has it undergone any form of chemical treatment this hair of mine is in its most natural form. Now am I “scruffy” because my hair is natural?

My definition of “scruffy” is something along the lines of “dirty, unclean or even shabby looking”. Am I “scruffy” because of my very natural hair?

Being the person that I am I had to ask a third party, someone who would be brutally honest, and he says to me “yes Tshimo you are playing for the scruffy team”. Then I asked myself who decides what is scruffy and what is not? Society? The very same society that secretly frowns upon women with fake hair, fake lashes oh and dare I not forget Fake nails?

Yes. It is this very same society that is now labelling me “scruffy” the very society labels others as “fake”….another question arose ‘what does society want?’

I may not have the answers to the questions above but, what I do know is that our society and societal norms are generally cruel to the female species. With that in mind I chose to live with me and my ‘scruffy’ I chose to be me.

After all I am but myself and that I will be to the best of my ability.

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2 thoughts on “Me and my ‘scruffiness’”

  1. As someone who spent a lot tedious, painful time during my childhood having my hair straightened and blow-dried, I’m all for the natural look, no matter who thinks it’s ‘scruffy’!
    These days, I don’t own a hair dryer and I leave the hairdresser with wet, curly hair because I refuse to let them burn my hair into submission. Why waste all that time and effort? I’d rather be scruffy 🙂

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  2. Wow Tshimo 🙂 so true. I had a very similar conversation with my friends sometime ago. How females nowadays,with their natural hair,they feel inadequate. As if they’re not pretty enough and therefore society won’t except them. I know girls who you will never see without weaves,why? Because they ONLY feel beautiful when they have a long weave on! Its saddening,to think that we feel ‘pretty’ when we are fake and not in our natural state,basically we are so unhappy with our selves that we’ve pursued western ways to a completely different level. If a woman has a weave,she’s taken more seriously and labeled a beauty queen,but a woman who appreciates her natural hair is labeled ‘scruffy’?? What has happened to society. I at some stage had an afro,and I grew up with chemically straightened long hair,the adjustment to short and natural hair took its toll on me. I remember feeling less pretty and inadequate in some way. On a brighter note, Miss Leeuw,I love how you put it ♥

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